FORBES – Notice What You Notice: Advice For Leaders

At my daughter’s recent hockey game, I had an eye-opening experience that got me thinking about leadership, attention and perspective.

What Do You Notice? And What Does It Say About You?

Hockey is a game I’ve never played, and frankly, I often find it brutal to watch. During the game, a player got hit hard and slammed into the boards. The impact was jarring—enough to make the rink go silent. My heart stopped, even though it wasn’t my daughter. It was the son of another mom sitting nearby.

As the boy got up, shook it off and skated back into play, the dads in the crowd erupted into cheers, celebrating his resilience. The game quickly resumed, and the moment seemed forgotten—by everyone but me and his mother.

I spotted her across the rink, her face pale, her posture tense. At first, I gave her space. Then, when it felt right, I walked over and placed a hand on her shoulder. We hugged in silence, both watching the game while wrestling with a shared, unspoken fear: the safety of our children in a sport that rewards physicality, sometimes at great cost.

It struck me then that we were all watching entirely different games:

• I was watching my daughter, every moment, ensuring she was safe and having fun.

• Other parents were focused solely on their own child’s performance. One parent nearby, the mom of the goalie, grumbled, “Why are they shooting pucks from the side during warmup? My son could get injured—there’s no padding there.”

• Some were fixated on winning, shouting at refs, strategizing plays and treating the game like a life-or-death competition.

We were all in the same rink, watching the same game, yet paying attention to entirely different things.

And isn’t this the perfect metaphor for leadership and life?

As the saying goes, we don’t see the world as it is—we see it as we are. What we notice—and just as importantly, what we don’t—is a direct reflection of who we are, what we value and where our strengths and blind spots lie.

For me, I notice people: how they feel, how they respond, where they’re struggling. I can sense fear or tension in someone’s face, even if they haven’t spoken a word. Others might not even see it, but it’s my default. It’s who I am.

But I’ll be the first to admit: I have no idea what the score was.

As leaders, this matters. What we notice dictates how we lead. Think about it:

• Do you naturally notice people—their emotions, dynamics and well-being?

• Are you drawn to profit—metrics, growth and the bottom line?

• Do you focus on process—systems, efficiency and execution?

None of these is inherently right or wrong. But what you notice shapes your leadership. It’s where your strengths lie—and also where your blind spots may be.

So, here’s the question: What do you most pay attention to? And how does that serve you—or limit you? Because if we’re not careful, we’ll miss critical parts of the “game.”

• People who focus on profit may overlook how burned-out their team feels.

• Process-driven leaders might miss the big-picture vision.

• People-first leaders (like me) may neglect to see whether the “score” reflects success.

Pay attention to what you pay attention to. Notice what you notice.

Ask others what they notice most. Seeing the world from another angle can help you spot opportunities and challenges you might miss on your own.

In business, this awareness is invaluable. Surround yourself with people who naturally care about and excel at the things you don’t—whether it’s people, profits or processes. By building a team that complements your perspective, you’ll gain a fuller picture and make better decisions.

Because great leadership isn’t about seeing everything—it’s about knowing who can help you see what you can’t.

And if you want to expand your perspective, start by asking someone else: “What are you paying attention to?”

To ease my fears, I’ve started seeking out the most relaxed dad in the crowd—usually someone who played the game himself growing up. I ask him about what he’s seeing, and I listen closely. Hearing his perspective not only calms me but also helps me understand the game in a way I wouldn’t on my own.

It’s a reminder that sometimes the best way to expand our view is to borrow someone else’s lens.

As published in Forbes

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